Earlier this week, I went to my first Lectures on Tap event. It was great! I’m one of those weirdos who loved school, so it was right up my alley. Something about listening to a passionate speaker deliver a slide-backed presentation about a topic of their choosing just feels right.
On this particular evening, tech journalist Thomas Germain shared some fascinating insights about Google, their monopoly on search, and the ripple effects their policies can have across the open web.
But this post isn’t about Lectures on Tap, or Thomas Germain, or Google. It’s about Andre.
The event was located at Houston Hall in the West Village. It’s a really cool bar / restaurant with massively tall ceilings, gorgeous skylights, several projectors and screens scattered throughout, and long, communal tables. I arrived about 25 minutes before Alexa and decided to head in solo to save her a seat. About half of the tables and seats were already filled; friendly workers were ushering newcomers to fill every empty seat from front to back, presumably to maximize capacity and avoid any awkward gaps.
I was led to a seat in the middle of table 205, right next to a party of 4 friends. I know attending events alone is totally normal, but for whatever reason I found myself feeling a little bit shy and uncomfortable. Do I look normal right now? Don’t stare. Guess I’ll check my phone. No, I don’t want to just be looking at my phone, I should be present and enjoy the moment. Should I say hi to this group? Should I go to the bathroom? No, I need to save these seats. Where do I put my hands right now? Etc etc.
And then Andre showed up.
Andre and his partner Ana were seated directly across from me. As soon as I looked up and we made eye contact, Andre shook my hand and introduced himself, zero hesitation. We got to know each other a bit, and soon another girl named Kaitlyn showed up by herself and was seated next to us. Andre immediately welcomed her into our little group, and the 4 of us had a lovely chat. Eventually Alexa showed up, we ate some food and watched the presentation, and then we all said our goodbyes before heading out.
There’s nothing revolutionary here, but I’m still thinking about it 3 days later. Have you ever met someone who exudes so much effortless confidence that they can make anyone feel comfortable and at ease? That was Andre’s superpower. I could have just had an average, quiet, somewhat awkward experience by myself before Alexa joined me, and still had a great night overall. But my night was made significantly better because one person initiated and made me feel included.
I love people like that. I want to be like that. I’ve been like that in plenty of situations in the past. I’ve missed my chance in other situations, and regretted it. I know I’m fully capable of getting out of my head and being that person. This post is my way of recommitting to being more like Andre.